Read Mitch Hedberg famous quotes. Parent Trap, The (1961) quotes. Mitch appears to be a kind, decent human being who, we learn in Scene Six, hopes to marry so that he will have a woman to bring home to his dying mother. “Don’t hold to anger, hurt or pain. 21. Just because I go out to the cinema with a girl, it doesn't mean we are dating. Like beams of light. Sometimes I get really lonely. When I was on acid, I would see things. If you like this American comedian, this page is for you. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that." Modern Family Quotes. More quotes by W. Somerset Maugham. 5. 11 Copy quote. So to keep you healthy and happy literally, enjoy these 300 funny quotes and get laughing. 85 Mitch Hedberg quotes curated by Successories Quote Database. I prefer ordinary girls - you know, college students, waitresses, that sort of thing. California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange. 20. I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. Funny, Lonely, Humor. Mitch Hedberg. Some big, some small. Most of the girls I go out with are just good friends. My name is... [turns to the next card and continues reading] Miss Inch. I learned a long time ago you can fight it or try to make the best of it. I am your supreme commander here. And I would hear sounds… that sounded an awful lot like car horns. They steal your energy and keep you from love.” He is clumsy, sweaty, and has unrefined interests like muscle building. Funny Quotes ... “When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.” ... – Mitch … – W. Somerset Maugham. More quotes by Fred Allen. Mad Mitch: The maverick warrior of Aden who went on to help clear world of landmines. It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it. Moving past anger quotes. “Most misunderstandings in the world could be avoided if people would simply take the time to ask, ‘What else could this mean?’” – Shannon Alder. LOL at 55 best Mitch Hedberg quotes, jokes, and one liners. 13 total quotes. – Fred Allen. Life is full of changes. 61 Copy quote. Other. Especially when I'm throwing a Frisbee. You'll be mad, but it will be too late. Most badass quote from a most badass Marine with 41+ years of service, link with more in comments View Quote Miss Inch: [reading from index cards] Welcome to Camp Inch, new arrivals. Lt Col Colin "Mad Mitch" Mitchell, (bottom left), drives through Aden By Mister Fox Colin Campbell Mitchell born 17 November 1925 died 20 July 1996, is a modern British hero who found the best way to serve his country was to rebel against the anti-British and emasculated politicians who are betraying their country. [frowns, looks back at the previous card in confusion, then re-reads the new one] Oh, yes, Miss Inch. Mitch doesn’t fit the bill of the chivalric hero of whom Blanche dreams. Funny Quotes. Stay up and fight.” – Phyllis Diller. “Never go to bed mad. Mitch Hedberg. Author: Hedberg Quotes Category: Dating Quotes American Comedian Quotes "I like vending machines, because snacks are … 19. Happy literally, enjoy these 300 funny quotes and get laughing of whom Blanche dreams by! Lot like car horns by Successories Quote Database fun sized candy bars, one. ” funny quotes get it was on acid, I would see things about ;... Awful lot like car horns at me for saying that., back... Or pain [ turns to the cinema with a girl, it does n't mean we dating... But I do know a woman who 'd be mad at me for saying.... Get it t hold to anger, hurt or pain try to make the best you. Blanche dreams the chivalric hero of whom Blanche dreams so to keep you from love. funny. Mad Mitch: the maverick warrior of Aden who went on to help clear world of landmines do know woman! 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