Kelly Corrigan:They hate it. An Evening with Kelly Corrigan EVENT PAGE - Lightways Im coming. Rocky is family, and we dont sell family, I replied. The Big Short, Moneyball, Liars Poker, these stories stand for whole industries because Michael Lewis puts just the right protagonist in the center. Kate Bowler:Well, your book has such a wonderful collection of phrases around essays, stuff like Tell me more, and you write about incredible things people can say when theyre figuring out the road ahead. Recently I coined maintain the faith, exit with grace. The idea that any day could be this huge day, I dont know, that really gets me out of bed, you know? Its these seemingly trivial moments. She was really, really into manners, and as kind of an act of gratitude, not in an uptight, British way, but as a Look at us eating a meal together, like, Nobody should eat before the last person gets down. Kelly Corrigan:Youre feeling like ABC, not DEF. So thats the beauty of it. Kelly shares her own go to mantra as well as two blessings from frequent Kelly Corrigan Wonders guest Kate Bowler and her co-author/friend/podcast producer Jessica Richies beautiful and extremely useful book: The Lives We Actually Have (100 Blessings for Imperfect Days). Lang Lang and Gina Alice play the piano in Lafayette, CA. How does change actually happen? And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us Hebrews 12:1 Yeah. Shes not going to their wedding, shes not going to pick out wedding dresses with them. He had things to do for days, and days, and days, and eulogies to write, and people to hug, and people to thank, and accounts to close, and cars to sell, and he had work to do, both emotional and just literally logistics. Kate Bowler:Wow, and thats a big word. Kilpy As Teri said, He didnt have a drug problem, he had a life problem. Its the only way to keep the last bit of sanity. Kelly Corrigan:Well, chop-chop kid. Kelly Corrigan:I was perhaps proud about it honestly, and I was reading 7 Habits of Highly Effective People at night with my big fat yellow highlighter, and I was really full of attachment to this identity that I had painted for myself. Trust your Gut? with Annie Jean Baptiste - Kelly Corrigan Wonders (podcast) To learn more about Tell Me More: Stories about the 12 Things Im Learning to Say, click here. Mom, we cant sell family, right? I looked at this sweet-natured adorable little puppy and acquiesced. Constance Wu and Kelly Corrigan in Lafayette, CA. I didnt engage with her. After the potency of the crime metaphor wore off, I turned to the vocabulary of religion. Kelly Corrigan:She cant wear half her clothes because she cant zip them by herself. Kate Bowler:Those ordinary consonants and vowels that, when strung together, offer meaning and points of entry for others. Kelly Corrigan:You dont always need such a plan, or an agenda, or whatever. Follow Kelly on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. Thank you for adding to the number of not-normal, cry-at-the-drop-of-a-hat people in the world. Kelly Corrigan:Where you can feel the person kind of asking around, snooping just enough, and its not for your sake. Kelly Corrigan:I mean, thats where it is. Kelly Corrigan Wonders podcast - Listen online for free One day I just snapped and threatened to sell the dog. Hes just one of those people that you think, God, if I could get five minutes with him, Id just tell him my biggest problem, and hed just say something in seven words that would solve everything., Kelly Corrigan:So, eventually I went up to him, and I said, Im caught between these two worlds, this world where Im full of clarity and insight and gratitude, and Im seeing all the big colors of the world. The space between doubt and belief is often unpopular, but the tension can be held. I even use it at the end of lectures like, Hey, this is the end of the 19th century. Kate Bowler:Yeah. Join New York Times bestselling author Kelly Corrigan as she choreographs big-ideas conversations with some of the creative thinkers and artists who define our time. As many of our listeners know, Kelly has a dear cousin, Kathy, who turns up, one way or another, in all of Kelly's books. I mean so far, knock on wood, Im getting to see my kids be much, much older than she got to see her kids be. Ill read you a little bit from the very end of that chapter because the thing that he was saying I think is, This is how it goes.. Labels like chronic illness, or caregiver, or widow, or mom of a kid with special needs. Kate Bowler:Well, the one that we sort of settled on most was, Dont let the turkeys get you down, cause we were all deeply unpopular children, but it did make me think about mottos, and how it sort of defines the season that we live in. I think thats cause we were always sort of fighting nearby. So, I kind of wondered if there was a motto youd pick for you for right now, what would it be? Team Everything Happens. You are in good company. Shed do dishes all day and into the night to just get to listen to her children, just to get to watch them through a one-way glass, you know? Kelly Corrigan:So, this was about all of these people calling me to say, I heard your friend died. Diane, Okay. I just want to show up and try to be of use. Then cancer hit. I was wrong, and that is very soothing, but then that took me back to this moment where I had gone to work for United Way after college, because I was going to save the world, and I was this total do-gooder. She's really just an overall great human being. Im so sorry youre not going to like any of my answers. Kelly Corrigan:And I should not lose my mind over a shirt I bought on final sale section that didnt fit even though I tried to pull it over myself, and then it got stuck on me, and I had to cut it off with scissors. So, I think things happen when you leave the house. So, I grew up with this sentence with my fathers voice in my head saying, Allah Kareem, God is generous., Cheryl:Our family motto is, Dont eat a hamster. She died this morning, and I was just sick to my stomach. You start with, Its like this.. Warmly, I dont know. Im so compassionate to that thing that happens every time you tell someone that you had cancer, which is the other person trying to figure out why its not going to happen to them as fast as possible. Kelly Corrigan:You cant be in the world, and get through your to-do list, and also sit in endless, rich gratitude. Kelly Corrigan is a New York Times bestselling author whose first children's book, Hello World, is available now. You dont have to bring it all. Kelly Corrigan:So, I just really went bananas, because on top of the shirt problem, I went downstairs to clean the kitchen, and I found everybodys bowls, and spoons, and cups, and I had that reaction that so many women have, which is, Well I guess Im the least busy. Ive read Tell Me More twice already. Allison Wohl: A Toast Women | Faith & Story Kindly, Now a cognitive scientist and podcaster, Maya grew up immersed in the . Onwards! It was because I had been selfish, and my dad caught me. Make the magic happen. Kate Bowler:Yeah. Despair defies description. 5:55. So, todays conversation is about developing language to move us forward when life is well, chronic. Kelly Corrigan Wonders: Kelly's Gratitude List on Apple Podcasts Suddenly, just showing up was in question. Kelly Corrigan:Yeah. And then right on the heels of that, I think, What would Liz do for this?. It just came out whole, and of course, to me its the most important and moving chapter in the book for sure. I end up saying to my therapy clients, to my friends, and to my daughter both Change is hard and the stage-specific version of CIH, Middles are awful. Middles are awful: we have to either find language for an ambiguous state or give up on finding it: hard, sweaty work. Kelly Corrigan:You dont always need such a plan, or an agenda, or whatever. We can remove the first show in the list to add this one. Its a very learned thing that I have to insert the words into my mouth, and push them out deliberately, because my instinct is to solve. Kelly Corrigan:Yeah. Kelly Corrigan:I mean, unless youre a monk, and youre meditating for 60 days in a mountain somewhere. Duration: 3:0 Transcript HARI SREENIVASAN: Now to another in our Brief But Spectacular. May you find Christ, comfort, and companions amidst the questions! I do need to be reminded of this often There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. Kate Bowler:Todays episode is brought to you by our partners, North Carolina Public Radio WUNC, the Lilly Endowment, The Issachar Fund, The John Templeton Foundation, Faith and Leadership: An Online Learning Resource, and Duke Divinity School, and of course, Beverly Abel, Jessica Richie, and Be the Change Revolutions. That sounds really right to me. The reach of language can be laughable.. Kelly Corrigan sits down with Melinda French Gates. Kelly Corrigan:And thats the truth. What do we do when the labels were given arent necessarily the ones we choose for ourselves? Kelly Corrigan. Kelly has also agreed to be my friend as part of her contractual commitment to this podcast. Simply becauseIts like this or, my current favorite: Its a species behavior., Nan, But first, we need you to sign in to PBS using one of the services below. Kate Bowler: I'm Kate Bowler, and this is Everything Happens. He is also the father to three great characters, including Dixie, who was killed in a head on collision in May of 2021. She totally doesnt get it. Were jumping in way too soon and talking way too much. After the potency of the crime metaphor wore off, I turned to the vocabulary of religion. I didnt make her final days one bit better, and I lived there for two years. One of the hardest things Ive been wrestling with is not having any clear language for this weird place between sick and healthy, weak and strong. Thats where relationship lives is in these tiny moments, and whether you are cognizant of that and tuned into that channel all the time, or not, that is the story of a relationship. Just see who you can bump into out there. Kelly Corrigan:One that Ive always liked is, Things happen when you leave the house. I think I like the sense of theres something out there that you can tap into. When I read that, I just kept thinking of how scared Ive been about what I call being a zombie. Whos going to do this? Enjoy an intimate and heartfelt interview series hosted by author Kelly Corrigan. Kelly Corrigan:She cant wear half her clothes because she cant zip them by herself. So, its funny that that phrase really begat the whole book in a way, because I had been feeling this shame about not really earning my days here, and then Ed and I were at dinner, and we were talking about the difference between saying Im sorry, and saying I was wrong, and I was saying, God, its so much more powerful though in the humility in saying I was wrong.. Kelly Corrigan:Yeah. Kelly Corrigan:Well you know, its so funny. Kelly Corrigan:So, she had to call someone and ask them to come over and zip her dress so she could go to the wedding. Just get in the mix, get in the line of fire. You know, I honestly think I only say Im sorry, and not, I was wrong. I think I might try it. Thats the word. Kelly Corrigan:Theres a thing Im aware of about eye contact between spouses, and you either make it, or you dont, and once youre aware that thats deeply meaningful, and that it has this kind of almost immeasurable, physiological effect on the other person, then you make an effort to look them in the eye, and that seems like such a small thing, but its actually definitional in terms of your relationship, in terms of whether its a good day, or a bad day, or a good interaction, or a bad interaction.