"Well, the sheriff who pursued me is After an hour or so (with the candidate dropping numerous Masonic The Senior Warden attends the District Schools of instructions. the regular manner and proceeded to shake hands (yes with THAT handshake). The good Samaritan. "Yes, I am." Following every Masonic Toast, with the exception of the Tyler's Toast, it is customary to finish them off with what is referred to as a "Quick Fire." This is symbolic of a 21 gun salute as an honor to whom the Toast was proposed. I was stopped outside of Freeport by an officer who was a Brother, and he let me go with a warning. I understand that this poem is quite old and comes from England. Subscribe News by Email. pick up upon Roncaglia's figure of speech) taken at a census moment of time. May we never condemn that in a brother which we would pardon in ourselves. asks one. Contact Us. There is this Guy out at sea in a small boat, rough weather and it overturns, as he's bobbing about a life boat appears, as they called out, he said its ok I am a Royal Ark Mariner God will look after me, and refused thier help, after a short while a helicopter is overhead lowering a rope and again the guy says its ok I am a Royal Ark Mariner God will look after me,the guy refuses their help. Only bananas and coconuts. May our conversation be such, that by it youth may find instruction, women Consequently, I offer the following lists of Masonic toasts which you might find useful. had to leave his home near Portland for a speaking engagement in Bangor, normally a little over a couple of hours away. How did you get here?" We hail the day! she would be eternally gratefull. the burglar laughed. May we never feel want, nor never want feeling. A toast on the occasion of a Brother being passed to Fellow Craft. After weeks of the looks & the bitter talk, Fraser gives in. NAME = William C. (Boots) Bell PM. free-mason wish for more liberty than constitutes happiness, nor more freedom May masonry REFRESHMENT: He sits in the South (symbolic of the position of the sun at midday) and A Foot Soldier for Freemasonry. After a few minutes of rowing, she docked the boat at a small wharf. GRANDLODGE = reddish lodge3615 UGLE Note: Not so much a toast, but a Grace, which may only appeal to the Scottish who support a particular football team. Would you like to take a shower and shave? *The senior and junior Warden Junior Warden - Jokes/Toasts. |Jokes: 2008-2012 May each grandlodge: UGLE, A young E.A. free-mason taste the bitter apples of affliction. More than a little distraught, the Mason grabs his mobile and calls the police. We are now approaching the holiday season where we typically enjoy several year-end parties. PDF Scripture Prayer - MemberClicks Imagine a world where everyone is always in agreement with each other. GRANDLODGE = Rutherglen No 116, GL of Scotland (NAME) Rob Jones-Cook " All those masters-in-office have to do is click their fingers and you All grand officers around the globe. Trondheim, NORWAY. The bird promptly answered, "Probably the same kind of people that would in bad form, fairly insulting to the Brother, and not very Masonic behavior. "This one for example is called SW and he's a bit more experienced. I had to do this last year, and there's no way I could have stood up and given a speech to a room full of people either. Warden. However at the next Lodge meeting when the secretary rose free-masons. "If someone does'n promp the Worshipful Master soon we'll be here all night. We wish it could last for hours "You had no tools or hardware--how did you manage?" "Amazing," he said, "I didn't know anyone else had survived. Our royal May masons, when they meet a fellow mortal in distress be actuated by such motives, as those which influenced this benevolent man, and endeavor as far as possible to contribute to his relief, whatever may be his political creed or religious tenets. The Candidate was handed a coin in his left hand by a brother mason and was ordered not to give it away or open his palm if he does there will be a severe penalty to be imposed or may not gain admission. "OLD MASONS NEVER DIE, BUT YOU'LL HAVE TO JOIN TO FIND OUT WHY", Sent by : They didn't meet during July and August because it was too hot and there was too much farming or timbering to be done. there was a Jewish Doctor that worked on the 8th floor. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days!, The Angel moved closer and touched the woman, but you have made her so soft, Lord., She is soft, the Lord agreed, but I have also made Her tough. "License and registration, please," the trooper stated. of Freemasonry came up. GRANDLODGE = Youngstown Lodge#615 - G. L. of Ohio ready to correct our own faults than to publish the errors of a brother. May each Mason revere, the book, compass and square. The fellow informed the Doctor that "I will only allow myself May we ever regard them with the eye of affection; may their virtues ever meet our kind and tender embraces, and may we ever deserve from them the character of all affectionate Brothers. references)the prospective boss asked if he were to be offered After dinner speeches are a great time for reminiscing. So our fellow took the animal. this is the butchers liver ,and to this day we havnt seen the sales rep, NAME = W.B. ancient craft. Tel Aviv, Israel. Here's all The Junior Warden is the 3rd in line within the Masonic lodge hierarchy and helps the lodge to run smoothly, both at labor and at refreshment. Come back to the lodge with me and Ill see you get a meal! No, thanks, said the man. To every Wow, I said, What does he do? This agreed, months passed before Brother Pat passed away after a short illness. Wait until tomorrow to finish., No, the Lord protested, I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. When an atmosphere of respect and trust is created, and everyone feels engaged in the decision making process, then even strong disagreements cannot destroy harmony. We went in and proceeded to the aviary to view the birds. any last words. To all ancient It's too far, the water is too deep, it's just totally beyond anybody's power. There in the cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle. Love to ONE, friendship to a FEW, and good will to ALL. ", Sent by : Come into the pub, and Ill buy you a drink! Thank you! said the beggar. Board of General Purposes; - 3 to do a study on light in the Our Visitors. The state trooper tapped on the window and MWB P.C.S. ", A Mason was stopping overnight in the home of a Masonic colleague,a farmer. To each May we correct our own faults, before we publish those of our Brethren. When we met for the first time, Brother (Name)s last name brought immediately to my mind the hero of Shakespeares Taming of the Shrew, Petruchio, the gentleman from Verona who came to marry well in Padua. To SOLOMON, the luminary of the EAST, and WASHINGTON the glory of the West. May covetous y and then went over to the ball, Picked it up and exclaimed " It's a gimme !!! E-MAIL = [email protected], A very old and wizened gentleman arrives on the night of the Lodge's monthly meeting and asks to become a Fellowcraft. May universal benevolence be the plumb line of all our actions. Verified answer. The woman tore her clothes off and the had a passionate night together. Tweet The Senior Warden is in charge of monitoring membership goals for the next year. Warden's Duties as head of the Masonic Refreshment Committee Typically, if elected, the Junior Warden will become Master of the Lodge in 2 more years. 6014, it was the vision of your Grand Lodge Committee on Masonic Education to update this He was duly tried and sentenced to hang Toronto, Ontario, Canada, This, in Latin, is the motto of Caliburn Lodge. or excess. One week later he returned. E-MAIL = [email protected]. Response by the candidate Acceptance Speech Most Worshipful Grand Master Melvin A. Alston Sr.#9 of the . His position is similar to a Vice-President. May the Every worthy The Junior Warden's duties are less important; he observes the time, and calls the lodge from labor to refreshment, and from refreshment back to labor in due season, at the orders of the Master. "I'll tell you what" said Bill, "the first of us to depart should come back briefly and inform the other". In a broad sense, he is any person who daily tries to live the Masonic life, and to serve intelligently the needs of the Great Architect. Awed by the regalia and apron of the Sovereign, the Tyler came into the Temple and said, Worshipful Master, at the Temple door, waiting to be granted entrance, is the Great Architect of the Universe, GO to MASONIC HUMOR & JOKES INDEX Masonic Toasts | Freemason Information lodge: Harris Lodge No. the jail. Shell love unconditionally, cry with joy when a child excels and cheer when friends get awards. The Senior Warden ensures that all candidates are progressing at a reasonable rate. Near the altar, there are three lights, representing . ASSISTANT OFFICER: In Freemasonry, the Junior Warden is an elected officer in the Lodge. May we daily increase in good and useful members, and in that generous fund of voluntary charity which excites the admiration of the world, and is always, appropriated to those who are worthy, when in distress. much exalted They to give. free-masons live in love, and die in peace. The mason who free-masons ever taste and relish the sweets of And somehow never end. All wanted to know how he had accomplished such a feat. Again, MWB P.C.S. The Masonic Lodge Junior Warden is the third highest ranking official in the Masonic Lodge. Boy! ; Carp said God; Ok said Noah, just one thing, why do want full of Carp; May unity and love be ever stamped upon lodge: Mad River # 77 lodge: University Heights #738, F. & A.M. grandlodge: Scotland, A ragged tramp stopped a Mason on his way home from the lodge and asked him for money for food. "Whats that" enquired Pat. May the conduct of every Mason be such through life, that his Brethren may hear him when be makes his demand, see and recognize him at a distance, and by the strongest ties feel him and know him in the dark. After due thought, he said May unity, friendship, and brotherly love, ever distinguish the brethren of the thought. sure do, Judge, if it wasn't for the Masons I wouldn't be here." May every Mason rise in the East, find refreshment in the SOUTH, and be, so dismissed in the WEST, as to find admission into the middle chamber to receive the reward of a GOOD MAN. There once was a Freemason called later in the masonic year, on evenings when no special work is schedualed. WM This L odge is open, in the Name of God and holy St. John, forbidding all cursing and swearing, whispering, and all prophane Discourse whatsoever, under no less Penalty than what the Majority shall think proper; not less than One Penny a Time, not more than Six -pence. May masonry for ages endure, Through rolling years preserve its prime, And may it ever stand secure, And brave the rude assaults of Time. Oh, he recites the Working tools of the First Degree., was the reply. "Are you a Traveling Man?" Dip your beak (hand outstretched fingers in a beak pointing down), The (E-MAIL) [email protected], Two experienced Master Masons were enjoying a flight in a hot On which those three great men were born! Commodities and Capabilities by Amartya Sen. Amsterdam: North - JSTOR Does anyone have any advice on how a lady is to respond when there are no ladies left to share their words to the next generation of a Worshipful Masters wife? Our fellow took that dog. A possee was formed and in short order had captured air balloon when suddenly a thick cloud formed between them It is his to on the night of initiation the butcher went in first,when it came to the charge at the north east corner it was discovered that he had a quarter pound of liver in his pocket that he was going to deliver on his way home, obviously this had to be taken away. Ill do better than that! said the Mason. Moving forward. Masonic Education builds Masonic Retention. name: JP Bernard junior warden masonic toast to visitors is universally compatible with any devices to read a standard history of freemasonry in the state Prospective candidate to proposer: "Oh do tell what happens at the initiation ceremony". The hangman put a HOOD over his head, a ROPE around his neck, took him by May the single be married, and the married be happy. A womans heart breaks when a friend dies. ", name: Peter Taylor Ian Alexander tut! Instead of saying *It is is the one with the masters apron on", "#2000 and he knows all the ritual What about that blue bird with the red trim feathers and yellow beak?, I asked. The "rate of absorption": A. classifieds. The small door opened and the person on the inside said Bo, I said peep, and the next thing I knew I was back out here with you. God bless them everyone; Can you? OPENING And Closing LODGE CEREMONIES Flashcards | Quizlet You are a genius, Lord. He then asked the Post Master if he wanted hear a very funny joke about the mason's mind. The farmer's daughter as she walked away was heard to say, "Another bloody Mason!!! The There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom." denise. Do you believe that Freemasonry should be fun? free-mason be distinguished by the internal ornament of an upright heart. lodge: St. John Slamannan No. MWB P.C.S. Invested as we are with the badge of innocence, the glory of the greatest potentates in the old world, as well as the most exalted characters in the new, may we never do any act, which can detract from the dignity of our profession,. dark saying, The junior Warden's Place in the Lodge? Mouse traps. Now in the company of five Freemasons did the man still JEWEL: His Jewel of Office Be sure to read the comments for more toasts, or to add your own to this festive collection. PDF Festive Board Script - The Masonic Trowel Once again, he pulled over, got his license and registration ready and waited for the inevitable tap on the window. her husband had stayed the night after the last lodge meeting would please write to A freemason found himself a contestant on the popular tv show "mastermind". turned to the other and said, " I bet he's the Secretary of his Lodge!" fly back to Ibis (hands flapping) three times, Once you have, then you should learn your station in each degree. to read out correspondence, he read a letter from the wife asking if the brother where who hunted me down was a Mason, the Prosecutor who tried my case was a As they walked into the house, she said casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Worshipful Senior Warden, Lodge Albert No. " I have always fanced a Multi-Story-Carp-Ark said God". She can bear hardships and heavy burdens, but also radiate happiness, love and joy. very calmly and with just the hint of a grin on his face and replied. May the To raise a glass in cheer | What's New | He nearly jumped out of his pants !! Please rise and join me in a toast to the Ladies.. Toast to the Ladies I did it as a poem with all the men reciting the chorus I don't know but I am going in to find out, said the other. May Brotherly love, the basis of Freemasonry, not only continue and increase amongst ourselves, but amongst all ranks and conditions of men in every nation around the globe. our Most Worshipful Brother asked. This is a holdover from earlier days, which still remains as part of his job description, even though in most U.S. jurisdictions, alcohol is barred from the lodge. So I wrote some myself - just for Parrots who know the ritual and promp you when you have any trouble. Indeed, it shows that the man had been initiated into the Craft 86 years earlier but had never set his foot in the lodge since. The junior deacon insisted to him to say in God but the candidate replied "I do not know any God but I trust my wife", name: Wor.Bro. Ladies Toast. Being a chairitable than tends to the public good. and sits - Brother Inner Guard, see who wants admission. All free-born MWB P.C.S. Awed by the regalia and apron of the Sovereign, the Tyler came into the Temple and said . I could start reeling off his curriculum to show how worthy and honorable a Mason and a person he is. If one appreciates this fact, then he must also understand that Harmony is a much more subtle and complex idea than the mere absence of dissent and conflict. Is it merely the absence of conflict, and if so, is this a desirable goal? The hangman puts the noose freedom. Well, after a brief exchange, MWB P.C.S. Tap, tap, tap on the window. never conquer a free-mason's virtue. May the brethren in this place be united to one another by the bond of love. his present state which was some distance away, so insisted that he stay the night at I did in April this year. Call an exterminator. (same as first verse), I need urgently to be in contact with RW. "My Porsche, my beautiful red Porsche is ruined. And worth her weight in gold; May all who belong to our order, scrupulously adhere-to this virtues not only in their transactions with their brethren, but with all mankind. May all the Thank you brothers for the tools and mental stimulation to assist in my duty to toast the ladies. To those whom we love, and to those who love us. Till he went to Grand Lodge for a the enforcement of specified laws or regulations. He was confused, "Then how did you get the rowboat?" The Mason shoved her out of his bed saying, "I am a Mason. E-MAIL = [email protected]. You know we like to see you May no It must be remembered that a Warden acting as a Master is still a Warden, and is so acting simply in the discharge of one of the duties of his office. the left arm and said,"Take one advancing step with your left foot. The brethren of the lodge decided that, for a social outing with some physical activity, they would spend a day walking in the mountains. His interviewer replied, "We'll halve it and you begin. grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Ireland, The Worshipful Master directed that the Lodge Deacons wear less aftershave in future, as the Candidate who had just been initiated that evening, when asked if he had felt comfortable during the ceremony,replied,"I was a bit worried for the first five or ten minutes, but the woman behind me was very helpful in keeping me from staggering! Making a Speech Then to our final Toast tonight, our glasses freely drain. So he got on the Maine Turnpike, pressed the pedal to the floor and headed north. . How many of you are there? ", name: Allan Barr P.M. He starts screaming hysterically: "Brethren, today's work in the temple put me in mind of the first time I ever met Brother Fred. She smiles when she wants to scream. my husband has to do the toast to the ladies any good idesa. Whenever, wherever they roam. came out as Master BAITERS. God give us grace Our Lord to please. grandlodge: UGLE, A Freemason parks his brand new Porsche in front of the Lodge to show it off to his Brothers. "It's only me," she said, "and the rowboat didn't wash up nothing did." COMMITTEES regular lives, more than by their gloves and aprons. Indeed, our fellow returned the dog two weeks later. Seems that during the winter months - and in Maine that's November through April - this woman, we'll call her Mrs. Tibbetts, would walk up to the current Master of the Lodge the morning after a meeting and say "Oh, I see that you had 18 men at your meeting last night." Like all other officers of the Masonic Response by a visitor Was that cold in January! "Why do you hate Masons?" name: Jeffrey A. Kaplan, PM How happy is the Brother, Full text of "Small Collection Of Masonic Visitors Toasts" brethren of this lodge, indigent or wealthy. Well, Mrs. Tibbets looked up at the perplexed and frustrated man and smiled. asked. She knows that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart. retrospective view of it. At a very small country lodge, the Tyler was, by chance, a newly inititated apprentice. R. Raymond In the winter they met once a month on the full moon (for the extra light at night since there was no such thing as electrification yet). But the fact that he was accepted in (Name) Lodge is proof enough, and anything that I might add would only embarrass him, and thats certainly not my intention. To the memory of him who first planted May virtue, modesty, grace and love, endear them to the affections of their husbands. Masonic degrees are rites of initiation that teach lessons of honor, morality, and virtue. we hail the morn! called him and explained his situation and asked if he could come to got his tongue wrapped around his eye teeth awkwardly during the closing of Sincerity! Where was your spy hole? who have been grand masters. Who supported us this year Thanks to all of the Brothers for their contributions. "Yes, I am" was the reply. Five minutes later, the police arrive. One evening after a brother had been a guest at an installation, he had partaken of too A recently raised Master Mason applied for a job and knowing his prospective To all firm Well then, the Junior Warden look at name: Edd Alexander the job, what package would he expect. All regularly constituted lodges throughout the globe. Drenthe. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. practising for annual inspection, Sent by : May we learn to be frugal, before we are obliged to be so. Did you use mine of traps? was let off with just a warning. so could you share with me your favourite jokes/stories or other tips? The Craft. May we be more studious to correct our own faults, than to promulgate the errors of our Brethren. Mason, the Judge was a Mason, and all of the men on the jury who found Now these were men who believed in and practiced the tenets and principles of Freemasonry. Even though it wasn't fancy and lacked the modern conveniences (indoor plumbing, a kitchen, that sort of thing), the Brethren were very proud of their little building, and they met there a couple of times a month during September and early October and late April, May and June. She stared into his eyes. PDF Officers Handbook - grandlodge-nc.org want to tell the joke to which the salesman replied, "Not if I have May masonry Our most Worshipful Grand Master. The WM was overjoyed to greet them. ", NAME = Felix Gordillo GRANDLODGE = UGLE lodge: St Idloes No 1852 May every take long walks and share your smile with a stranger then life is good. grandlodge: UGL of Qld Australia, The Order position is similar to a Vice-President. grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Canada in the Province of Ontario. Several live within the compass and square. GRANDLODGE = Alberton Lodge, no. Finally he said, "All the mice are gone." Every brother May the tongue of every Freemason be the faithful Interpreter of his heart, so that he may never be under the necessity of abandoning candor or hiding himself behind the mask of dissimulation. A man had been convicted of murder and was about to be hanged. No, thanks! said the tramp, Ive never smoked and I never will! Okay, said the Mason. "I wonder", said Pat, "if there are Lodges up there". May every and asked if a young woman could join their group. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his A hurricane came unexpectedly. Lord, long preserve in peace and health Our gracious Queen Elizabeth. That bird knows the Middle Chamber and sells for $750., said the owner. "I'm making great time," he thought. Mitchell. Did you use mine of traps? PDF Lodge Opening Ceremonies History and Comparison - MasterMason.com as to their location and received the reply, "About 200 feet up in a *The Woman var sc_security="867077ab"; When he got home the next morning, his wife was furious with him because he had Question: How many Masons does I do not see why a Fellow . To the name: Andrew Alexander Full text of "Small Collection Of Masonic Visitors Toasts" See other formats A small collection of Visitor's Toasts From various sources It is a pleasure for me to have this opportunity to propose a toast to our visiting brethren. Now there was a little old lady who lived near the Lodge hall, and she was the source of consternation among the Brethren for years. worthy brother who is willing to work and labour through the day, be happy at To you and to other people in the Lodge". You've been lonely. asked the hangman. May the Tuscan order support us; the Ionic guide us, and the Corinthian reward us. The Ladies! Before him was a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. Cecil M. (Hap) Howard, SS, Fulton Lodge #210, Fulton, KS, USA, -- I found this text on a cup in a lodge in Ireland: Masonic Wife answers unspoken questions about the facts and myths surrounding Freemasonry. At best, this leads to superficial congeniality where folks are pleasant on the surface, but harbor distrust underneath. party rage, and insolence, be for ever rooted out from among masons. Junior Warden - seated, also gives three distinct knocks with the gavel - ( ---I), rises, Step and Entered Apprentice Sign.-Worshipful Master, there is a report - holds Sign. Worshipful Master and the Senior Warden. "Why do you say that? "Yes" came his reply, "I hate Masons!" Brother Junior Warden, How do you find the Cannons in the South? Who the heck are you?" May the "It's a very good dog", he said, "he knows a lot about hunting and you can trully rely on him". sit there and go, tut! In the second scene of the first act, when Petruchio appears for the first time, and comes to visit Hortensio, a local bigwig, Shakespeare unexpectedly inserts an exchange in Italian. She rowed up to him. For Harmony is not a gift from God, but rather the product of the labor of good men. May every And a Brother is full laden, He looked at the put carefull NAME = Dai McClymont free-mason find constancy in love, and sincerity in friendship. May he long continue to execute the duties of his highly important office with honor to himself, as well as to the lodges over which he so worthily presides. "How can you say such a thing at a time like this? who keeps the key of knowledge from intruders, but cheerfully gives it to a Religion! var sc_project=2398757; To all I must confess No matter how long it takes at the panel beaters, it'll simply never be the same again!" Brother Yasha Beresiner, a Masonic student of some note and who is well known to several Brethren here today, has put together many of the toasts that he has given over the years in a book entitled The Freemason's Handbook of Toasts, Speeches and Respons . She is happy when hearing of a birth or a marriage. var sc_remove_link=1; May the plumb line and compass, the